Remembering a difficult time in Africa

Something has occurred today that reminded me of two related incidents that happened while I was living in Zimbabwe.

The first incident happened in April of 2000. I was in my second year of being a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV). I was thinking of doing a third year (two years are usual) and so my Peace Corps supervisor set me up with a program whose work it was to get computers and Internet access to the rural areas. I met almost the whole group, with teachers from all over the country, at a conference in Bulawayo, the second largest city. In a meeting, somebody said something about one of the teachers behaving white because they did something smart (with money as I recall). Even though this could be construed as a complement, it felt very wrong. I recall being very sensitive, rightly or wrongly, about race issues when I was in Zimbabwe, and it is easy to trace that back to the USA where we have so many issues with race. (There is a short article on white guilt on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_guilt, and there is more, a lot more!, on the web for the curious.)

Needless to say, I handled the situation really wrongly. There in front of the whole group I said something loud that expressed my disbelief. I might have said 'What!' but it is hard to be certain as I always say this now. It works well with school children. It does not work as well with adults which makes me thing I did use it. Everyone was shocked and surprised at my anger. These people knew each other to some degree but not me. I tried to explain, but I think my initial reaction diluted people's understanding.

The second sitution occurred six months later when I was working with the group full time. The supervisor's brother was giving me and another PCV a ride home in his small truck that had a second row of seats, what we call a 'king-cab.' As I was the first to get out, I asked the people in the back if they wanted to move up with my friend. They said no, and I told the people in the front that, adding to my friend, that the reason was that "They think you stink." She laughed at this and I went inside happy.

The next day the supervisor told me his brother had said I had offended him. I asked why. The supervisor told me that the whites in Rhodesia, what Zimbabwe was called under colonial rule, had often complained that the blacks stunk and would use this prejoritively against them. I told the supervisor that I had had no idea that this was the case and asked him to apologize to his brother for me.

My supervisor was very polite and explained the situation clearly. This gave me a chance to reflect and apologize. I really had meant no harm and was able to express this. however, my comment six months earlier, my 'what!', gave no chance for anybody to reflect or explain. Instead it put everybody on the defensive and created a negative atmosphere.

Living in a foreign country can be a demanding experience. Even though I live in my home country, I work with foreign nationals and this lesson still applies to me and my life.